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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Ease into sleep by switching from TV to laptop, tablet, then phone 

January 25, 2025

Routine involves switching from tv to laptop, tablet to phone

A Steinsel woman and bedtime routine advocate says she readies herself for sleep with a slow, relaxing transition from watching a series on her television and then switching to her laptop before moving on to her tablet and finally her smartphone.   “A lot of people think you can just hop right into bed with your […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

You can make any dish ‘Mexican’ with random sweet red sauce, confirm Europeans 

January 23, 2025

Mexican food in Europe

Nearly every restaurant in Europe has confirmed that all it takes to make any dish a “Mexican” dish is putting some random sweet red sauce on top.  “See, here’s a regular burger,” said a cook at a restaurant in Amsterdam that specializes in hamburgers. “But after I squirt on it some sweet red sauce which […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

Dying bacteria in man’s gut commandeer his body and force him to eat half kilo of sugar

January 22, 2025

bacteria in man's gut order him to eat pure sugar

Millions of dying bacteria in a Luxembourg man’s intestinal tract have sprung back to life after they commandeered his body and made him walk into his kitchen and consume 550 grams of pure sugar. The bacteria had become increasingly lethargic in the preceding days as Dan Scott gave up alcoholic beverages and, to the bacteria’s […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

We’re going to make a joke about the monarchy just to see if it’s allowed – hey, hey! Who are you? Give back our laptop!

January 9, 2025

Luxembourg monarchy joke

The Luxembourg Wurst has been in existence since 2017, and all that time we haven’t known for sure if we’re actually allowed to make pointed jokes about the institution of the monarchy. Why? Because no one tells us a damn thing, that’s why.  When you get into the business of publishing online news satire, there’s […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Grand Duchy of Luxembourg

Report: non-drinkers love being asked why they don’t drink

January 8, 2025

Non-drinker asked why

According to a recent study by researchers from the University of Wiltz, non-drinkers love it when others – particularly strangers or someone they’ve just met – demand to know why they don’t consume alcohol.   “For most teetotallers, being able to talk about why they don’t drink is the main reason they don’t drink,” said Lorena […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

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The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!

The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!
Drug dealer Luxembourgish

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St. Valentine beheaded

Ghost of beheaded St. Valentine wishes couple a romantic evening

Routine involves switching from tv to laptop, tablet to phone

Ease into sleep by switching from TV to laptop, tablet, then phone 

Mexican food in Europe

You can make any dish ‘Mexican’ with random sweet red sauce, confirm Europeans 

bacteria in man's gut order him to eat pure sugar

Dying bacteria in man’s gut commandeer his body and force him to eat half kilo of sugar

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