Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Little a-hole refuses to acknowledge expat parents’ attempts at Luxembourgish

A 10-year-old who attends public school and was previously dutiful and considerate has turned into a little a-hole, refusing to acknowledge his foreign-born parents’ attempts at Luxembourgish. The little a-hole’s mother Tatiana says she doesn’t know what happened to him, noting that he used to happily assist his parents, whether it was translating a menu […]

5 famous people you didn’t know were Luxembourgish 

When you think of famous people from Luxembourg, you probably think of Jean-Claude Juncker or Shakira’s asset manager’s lawyer’s former mistress. But do you know about these other famous Luxembourgers? Marie Antoinette (1755 – 1793) Don’t get fooled just because she was the wife of Louis XVI of France or that her nickname was “the […]

All of woman’s clothes with color fly south for winter

In adherence to the laws of nature, meteorology, and fashion, the entirety of a Luxembourg woman’s set of colorful apparel has begun its annual journey south. The departure occurred on Tuesday morning as post-Schueberfouer chilly drizzle and gray skies signaled the definite end of summer.  “Au revoir pink, goodbye turquoise, and äddi canary yellow,” whispered […]

Code red: non-native French speaker pronounces ‘u’ as ‘ou’ 

What started as a functional yet tense conversation between a customer and a supermarket employee on Friday ended in disaster after the customer pronounced the French “u” like “ou.” Karen Aradóttir, who regularly shops at the Dudelange supermarket, was looking for items for her son’s birthday party including candles, chocolate sprinkles, and lastly, a children’s […]

Caritas Luxembourg unveils new €60-million yacht named ‘Charity’

Finally answering the question “where the hell did all those sixty-plus millions of euros of embezzled money go?” a source for the now mostly defunct Caritas Luxembourg has presented the organization’s latest acquisition: a luxury yacht lovingly named Charity.   “You may wonder why we’d need a luxury yacht that’s docked safely away from EU […]