Following reports that Germany and other countries are restricting entries from Luxembourg due to a growing number of COVID-19 cases in the Grand Duchy, a mysterious new government official has announced that the number of cases of COVID-19 here is actually zero. The correction was delivered late Wednesday night at a press conference attended by […]
Expat survives afternoon of shopping in Trier industrial zone
A wealthy expat from Luxembourg City who visited a store on the outskirts of Trier has described the experience as “a nightmare” and says she feared she might not live to tell the story. Jeanna Klebertz made the 40-minute journey to Germany to visit a shop that specializes in wood furniture as part of a […]
New campaign to warn newcomers that everyone here knows each other, so watch out
The Ministry of Useful Information has launched a new campaign to warn newcomers about the risks of assuming that you can do as you want in a place with a national population as big as a medium-sized city in other countries. “Welcome to Luxembourg,” said Minister Marie-Claude Valenti in a press conference on Monday. “We’re […]
Satan takes back Irrgarten roundabout
Saying the diabolical traffic knot is too evil to be wasted on living souls anyway, the guardian of the underworld known as Satan has reclaimed the old Irrgarten roundabout. The roundabout was created millenia ago by a cadre of demon road engineers whose goal was to torture carriage drivers condemned to Hell, but it was […]
Virus wonders if host trying to get it drunk
A COVID-19 virus particle hanging out on a Rollingen woman’s left hand has expressed concerns that she’s trying to get it drunk. “Another round already?” the virus said after Bettina Mueller covered her hands in sanitizer for the third time in an hour on Wednesday afternoon. “Probably not a good idea, lady.” “But okay,” it […]
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