LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — At least one person was severely confused while a dozen people were left mildly irritated on Wednesday after a man at a Delhaize in the capital attempted to speak German to an employee stocking shelves.
“Hallo,” said the man, who was later identified as a Koblenz construction worker named Manfred. “Wo ist der Bio-Käse?”
The victim of the linguistic assault, a 24-year-old female who has worked for the supermarket chain for only three months, responded with “quoi?” before falling to the ground and whimpering like a puppy. She then lost consciousness.
A group of concerned citizens cornered the German speaker, who seemed to apologize but in his own language, so no one present could understand him.
“It’s not like German is one of the three offcial languages here, you lunatic,” said one angry shopper who was rendering first aid to the unconscious woman.
“Well, maybe it is,” said another shopper, shaking her finger at the assailant. “But that doesn’t mean you can go around using it against innocent people.”
“There should be laws against that sort of thing,” said another shopper, vowing to create a petition and submit it to the Chamber of Deputies.
Police showed up within minutes and escorted the German speaker outside under the guise of an arrest. However, they instead discreetly set him free and suggested he try his luck at Cactus up the street.