All of Luxembourg has been put on lockdown following a “credible threat” to make kachkéis-flavored beer, say police.
The threat was made by Lintgen homebrewer Jethro Hopps, aged 34, who on Sunday discussed his plans for the next batch of beer.
“I was thinking about doing something different next time,” Hopps said to his friends who were sampling his homemade IPA and were pretending to like it, according to witnesses. “Maybe a flavored beer.”
The group then spoke about different options ranging from conventional and fruity, such as raspberry and cherry, to funky and unusual, such as bacon and ghost pepper.
“Actually, I’m thinking about something really local, really Luxembourgish,” said Hopps, who moved to the country in 2018 and has become one of its biggest promoters. “For example, beer that tastes like kachkéis.”
Although his friends’ reactions ranged from shocked and disgusted to scared and angry, Hopps repeated his threat.
“I’m serious,” he said. “I’m going to make kachkéis-flavored beer and no one can stop me.”
According to those present, Hopps then grabbed some of his homebrewing equipment, laughed like a movie villain, and ran off into the countryside where he is currently hiding.
Police spokesperson Marco Trausch, speaking on behalf of the police, the State Intelligence Service (SRE), the Luxembourg Army, the Grand Ducal Guard, Europol, and Interpol, says that until Hopps is apprehended, residents should stay in their homes.
“We don’t know what prompted Mr. Hopps to make this threat, what his demands are, or even if he has demands, but obviously the mere mention of bastardizing two of our most beloved products in some kind of sick Frankensteinian experiment is not something we take lightly.”
The last time the country went on lockdown for threat of this magnitude was in 2003 when a dangerously reckless young winemaker from Remich vowed to make Crémant de Luxembourg infused with Mettwurst grease.
