Opening up new possibilities for the global gem trade, a Luxembourg landlord has revealed that a rental deposit he kept tightly guarded between his buttocks has turned into a diamond.
Pietro Calvadore originally placed the 5400-euro deposit into his rear in 2012 after tenants Leon and Deanna Greaves moved into a one-bedroom Merl flat he owned.
When the couple moved out nearly two years ago, they requested the return of their entire deposit, noting they had left the apartment in immaculate shape.
However, Calvadore dragged his feet, they couple say, first saying he needed to hire an expert to evaluate the state of the property, then claiming there had been a mixup at the bank, and finally insisting that a physic healer named Madame Angelina warned him in a dream to first clear the flat of bad spirits before handing the money over.
It was only a full 21 months later, after the couple had long since relocated to Amsterdam and threatened multiple times to take legal action, that Calvadore produced the deposit, which by that point had transformed into the gem.
“What occurred is a miracle, but it’s also the easily understood result of the application of heat and pressure,” said Calvadore, who briefly studied geology while at university in the 1970s.
The 2.34-carat diamond has been rated as “pretty but stinky” by the newly formed Gluteal Diamond Association.
“Of course we’re disappointed that instead of returning cash, Mr. Calvadore has given us a satchel of diamond chips left over from his stone being professionally cut, but he has convinced us that, considering the historically significant way the diamond was created, we should be able to sell them on eBay for at least the amount of the deposit.”