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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Experts warn of scary new outbreak of ‘Letz’ branding

Letz Luxembourg branding Researchers at the Luxembourg Center for Infectious Branding have issued a dire warning that the upcoming year might see a particularly virulent outbreak of Letz-branded names. 

“We thought 2019 was a bad year in terms of the number of startups with names like Letz Make Yogurt, Letz Design Your Home Office, and Letz Make Darling Little Shoes for Your Fashion-Loving Hamsters,” said Errol Franck, who directs the center. “But it’s nothing compared to what we are about to see.”

“Even the most pun-adverse entrepreneur won’t be able to resist the trend,” he added.

The first appearance of Letz branding appeared in 1862 in London, Franck says, when a Luxembourgish wine merchant at the International Exhibition made a sign that said “Letz Drink Luxemburgesh [sic] Wain [sic].” 

However, it wasn’t until the Let’s Make It Happen nation-branding campaign that first appeared in 2018 that a major outbreak was seen. 

“Within months, everyone from Maghreb-themed caterers to physical therapists were exhibiting signs of Letz-branding infection, giving their businesses names like, well, Letz Cater Your Event with Maghreb-Themed Food and Letz Get Your Body Back in Pre-Accident Shape.”

What Franck and other experts say is most alarming about the impending outbreak is the sheer number of variants. 

“We are seeing more and more scary mutations, ones that lack all semblance of logic or order,” Franck said. “In the beginning, there was a fundamental adherence to rules of English punctuation and grammar, with ‘Letz’ being used as a replacement for the word ‘let’s,’ but not anymore.”

Franck says that Letz is now being used as a noun, adjective, and sometimes a preposition, and that apostrophes now appear in the middle and even start of the word, such as in Le’tz Plumbing or L’etz Insure Your Car.

“As there is no natural immunity or vaccine to prevent Letz branding from spreading, I’m afraid we are just going to have to deal with it until the rate of infection peaks and the appearance of Letz-branded names drops to pre-2018 levels,” Franck said. 

“To raise awareness, my team and I are organizing a campaign called Letz Stop Using Letz-branded names,” he said, adding. “Oh, no, now we’re infected, too.”

***

Originally published by RTL Today

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