Saying that they sincerely believed they had worked out every detail for a successful and complete World Cup, FIFA officials have announced that they are canceling the remaining matches due to a shortage of balls.
“There’s a lot to think about when you organize a tournament of this scale,” said FIFA president Gianni Infantino. “You need pitches, whistles for the referees, and a hundred little refrigerators to keep the sports drinks cold.”
“As for balls, we thought we had enough,” he continued. “How many do you actually need for a match? One, right, and maybe a second one as a backup. Well, we bought five balls for each match, just to be safe, but thanks to all these guys kicking them into the stands, we’ve already run out. We tried to get one fan to give it back, but he refused.”
“So, sorry about that, but the tournament’s over,” he added. “We’ll try to do better next time. Let’s just say France won. Or Mexico. Fine, Morocco, whatever.”
One source from inside FIFA says that some teams had agreed to play with other types of balls in order to allow the tournament to run its course.
“One of the Brazilian defenders and the English captain took a walk along a highway near the airport in New Jersey and managed to find an old basketball, but FIFA rejected the idea of using it as they’d already packed up the pumps and put them in storage,” the source said.
