After years insisting that such a move would betray the country’s values and heritage, France has announced that it will finally recognize your French.
French President Emmanuel Macron made the announcement on Tuesday at the UN Headquarters in New York, admitting that it is time to recognize your French despite how poorly pronounced, inelegant, and full of mistakes it is.
“This doesn’t mean that we will understand your French, nor does it mean we will make an effort to,” Macron added. “It only means that we will, in some part of our hearts and minds, admit that yes, this person is trying to speak the language of Molière and Proust.”
“And we will think, how adorable, and we will carry on as before,” he added.
The international community is celebrating the move, saying it will be fun to visit France next summer and try out words like croissant, crème brûlée, and vin blanc—words it has known for a long time but was too afraid to use.
“I can’t wait to be served very hot French onion soup so I can say oh là là when I burn my tongue,” said Australia resident Nancy Sillard. “And if the sauce on my steak is bland and mediocre, I’ll tell the waiter it is comme si, comme ça,”
While reactions have generally been positive, some people worry that the formal recognition will have little practical effect.
“When I heard the news, I called up an old French friend I met in Mexico who moved back to Lyon,” said Javier Fuentes. “In French, I identified myself and told him how delighted I was by the news, but he pretended to understand nothing and not know who I was. He insulted me in a witty Gallic manner and hung up.”
“I’m afraid that when my partner and I go for weekends in Normandy and try to order a crêpe in French, the vendor will still regard me as if I’ve just coughed up a toad,” said UK resident Mike Holliday. “Has France instituted an actual plan? A public awareness campaign to make people be nicer about our French? Fines for those who fail to comply?”
Many French people themselves describe Macron’s announcement as a meaningless political gesture, and they vow to not comply.
“Non, non, non,” said Estelle Laberge, who owns a bakery in the 11th arrondissement in Paris. “This, I will not accept. Us, we have certain values. To say that we will recognize, as our proper tongue, the incomprehensible mumbles of strange persons, that, it is impossible.”
