ALZINGEN – What started off as a fun evening of alcohol, grilled food, and the casual expulsion of millions of virus particles was quickly ruined when a friend showed up wearing a face mask.
Just an hour into the BBQ, everyone was drunk enough to forget about the pandemic thing that has annoyed everyone for most of the year.
That was until 27-year-old Palvin Morlak showed up wearing a light-blue mask. Suddenly, the music stopped, the temperature dropped by 2.5 degrees, and somewhere on the other side of the world a child began to cry.
Morlak’s absurd facial covering looked like something you’d see at a hospital or a costume party, according to one witness, not a summer gathering of healthy young people who’ve consumed enough alcohol to sterilize a barrel of rotting fish.
“Hey Palvin, no need to hide your handsome face,” said host Helena Boscovich. “No virus here. Give me a hug.”
The obviously paranoid and delusional man backed away, whispering something about the rising number of COVID-19 cases in Luxembourg and a healthy young colleague of his who’d fallen terribly ill, but those nearby swore he said, “Wua wua wua, wua wua.”
The now-offended host chased Morlak in a circle around the garden, demanding that he press his face to hers. When another guest arrived via the back gate, Morlak made his escape, his ridiculous mask still visible as he ran down the street to his car.
“Really sorry about that guy,” Boscovich said, coughing into her sleeve, probably due to grill smoke. “Shots?”
