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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

He went for a handshake, she went for a first bump, this happened, now she’s pregnant and he’s divorced

February 15, 2022

Fist bump disasterTwo colleagues have found their lives turned upside down after a clumsy introduction led to the woman getting pregnant and the man getting divorced from his wife of seven years.

Michel Douby, 36, had just arrived at work one morning when he was introduced to Salome Funk, 22, who was starting her first day of an internship with the company. 

Momentarily forgetting that Covid has altered the way people introduce themselves, Douby extended his arm for a handshake, while Funk countered by offering her fist to be bumped.

Their movements were ill-timed, however, and Douby ended up wrapping his hand around Funk’s fist. They remained like that for many seconds.

“Oops, pardon me,” Douby eventually said, putting his hand in his pocket. 

“Haha, my fault,” Funk lied, her cheeks flushed.

The encounter was soon forgotten, and after a few weeks Funk’s internship ended. However, it wasn’t long before Funk discovered she was pregnant.

“I will not go into detail, but I knew right away that Michel was the daddy, and that however this happened, it happened that morning when our hands were locked,” she said.

After a prenatal paternity test showed that Douby was indeed the father, he tried in vain to explain to his wife that he had never had relations with the intern, but his claims fell on deaf ears. A divorce soon followed. 

Experts say while the pregnancy is unusual, nature holds many secrets.

“Contrary to what biologists and doctors tell us, perhaps we humans can also reproduce like jellyfish or mushrooms,” said one professor of general science from the University of Wiltz. “A friend of mine got pregnant after swimming with some friendly dolphins in Punta Cana.”

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Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Workplace

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