• Expats
  • Grand Duchy of Luxembourg
    • Real Estate
    • Transportation
    • Luxembourg City
    • Politics and Government
    • Education
    • Luxembourgish Customs
    • Luxembourg History
    • Royal Family of Luxembourg
    • Finance and Banking
    • Business
  • Languages
    • Luxembourgish
    • French
    • German
  • Workplace
  • Leisure and Lifestyle
    • Holidays and Events
      • Schueberfouer
      • Christmas Market
      • Bazar International
    • Dining and Nightlife
    • Shopping
    • Parenting
    • Health
    • Luxembourg Wurst Magazine
    • Interviews and Profiles
    • Opinion
      • Wise Expat Sage
  • Greater Region
    • Belgium

Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘I will ride wherever the f*ck I want,’ says electric scooter man

July 29, 2021

Electric scooter LuxembourgIn response to speculation that he may not actually be permitted to ride here, a man on an electric scooter has announced he will ride wherever the fuck he wants.

“The Scooter electrus is a brother of the street-legal Scooter motorus and a cousin of the Motorcycle vroomus, which means the streets belong to me,” he said. 

As for sidewalks, the electric scooterist reminds you that he’s literally standing. 

“I’m basically walking except for the fact I’m gliding,” he said. 

“However, this vehicle is a mere mobility toy, a play thing for children, which is why I’m also morally and spiritually permitted to ride through parks and along pedestrian paths.”

When asked why electric scooterists should also be allowed in bicycle lanes when they’ve already got streets, sidewalks, and pedestrian paths, the man hissed.  

“It’s got two wheels and it hardly makes a sound,” he said. “Just like a bicycle.”

When told that electric scooterists will one day face widespread and creative retribution for their total lack of consideration, the man tilted his head back and emitted a weak laugh. 

“What are you going to do, chase me?” he said. “This baby maxes out at 38 kpm. Even Usain Bolt would have trouble catching me.”

“Oh, report me to the police?” he added. “Just try it. My scooter folds up so small that I can hide it in my pocket. And if the police check my pockets, I’ll put the whole thing in my mouth and swallow it.”

The Idiot of St. Benedict - Black Fountain Press
Luxembourg Wurst t-shirts and hoodies on Amazon

Check out our archives of 800+ articles, enough to make your eyes bleed!

Filed Under: Featured Article, Transportation

Luxembourg Wurst t-shirts and hoodies

Follow the Wurst

Follow the Wurst FacebookFollow the Wurst Twitter

The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!

The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!
Schueberfauer game

New Schueberfouer game in which you just toss wads of cash into basket and that’s it

Luxembourger Burger King

Luxembourg, Burger King to merge

Which souvenir are you bringing back for your colleagues?

Schueberfouer statue Luxembourg

Schueberfouer monument to honor the hundreds of bankers buried under Glacis parking lot

Expat in Luxembourg

Expat only interested in ‘the best’ everything

About the Luxembourg Wurst

Disclaimer

Contact Us

Luxembourg Wurst © 2023