In what’s likely welcome news for those in the Grand Duchy who can’t be bothered to wake up at 5 a.m. four times a week to go jogging yet who want to participate in the ING Night Marathon, this year’s event will include a 285-meter course.
Called the Schlub Run, the course is designed to attract runners who aren’t runners at all, and in fact barely qualify as walkers.
“We are only calling it a ‘run’ because ‘walk’ just doesn’t have the same ring,” explained Guy Tissier, who oversees the marathon’s short-short-distance events. “The Schlub Run is for people who get most of their daily exercise from reaching over their desk to find out who just sent them a WhatsApp message.”
The course was added in part to lessen the exclusivity inherent to marathons and other running competitions.
“Just because someone can’t finish an actual marathon, half-marathon, a 5K run, mini-marathon, or the 1K mini-mini-marathon that’s popular with six-year-olds, doesn’t mean they should be prevented from saying they ran in a marathon,” Tissier said.
Victor Laizibum, 34, who signed up last weekend at the urging of his friends, says that he’s excited for the Schlub Run, and that he’s looking forward to breaking a sweat for the first time in six years.
“I’ve always found it silly to put on fluorescent spandex pants and go trotting around the neighborhood for hours and hours, like a gazelle suffering from a brain-wasting disease,” he said. “But I’m happy to put on some sweatpants and walk outside to check the mailbox twice a day, if that’s the sort of rigorous training needed to finish this race.”
The course starts in the Luxexpo parking lot, follows a winding path near the periphery, and then ends in the parking lot. For those who worry about not being able to finish, volunteers will be on hand to motivate participants with beer and grilled sausages — and to carry them over the finish line if necessary.
The cost to register is 45 euros and the deadline for the ING Night Marathon Schlub Run is April 1. Interested parties should first verify that they can stand up several times in a row without feeling winded or dizzy.