One of the founding partners of a respected Luxembourg law firm has announced that ever since it became mandatory last year to wear masks in the office, she’s been unable to stop sticking out her tongue at everyone.
“Because I’m impatient and ill-tempered, people might have assumed those were puffs of air pushing my mask out every five seconds,” said Odile Schummart at a meeting on Thursday. “In fact, this whole time, that’s been my tongue, which has now grown stronger and more powerful than I could have dreamed.”
“Even now, I’m thicking my tongue out, which is why I’m talking thunny,” she continued. “Sometimes I flick it around like I’m some kind of snake.”
The revelation quickly spread around the office, prompting everyone from the courier to the IT technicians to admit they also do weird stuff under their masks.
“Whenever a visitor walks in, I bare my teeth like I’m a jungle cat that senses a threat,” said Gabrielle, one of the receptionists. “If I don’t like the way the person looks, I quietly hiss.”
“As soon as I put my mask on, I pucker my lips like I’m going to give a kiss,” said Damian, the security guard. “Except that one day I started wearing a transparent mask, but I forgot to stop doing the thing with my lips, and now no one talks to me anymore.”