LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Following the failure of a petition to require the Chamber of Deputies to debate adding English as the country’s fourth official language, leaders have decided to scrap “Let’s make it happen,” admitting that Luxembourg’s brand tagline should, for obvious reasons, be in French, German, or Luxembourgish.
“True, we promote ourselves as an international center of business and finance, and we hold up our openness, multilingualism, and huge foreign population like a giant snuggly pink bear we’ve just won at the Schueberfouer,” said Marc Contern of the Branding Commission. “And it’s true that the average Luxembourgish pig farmer speaks better English than most English teachers in neighboring countries.”
“But yeah, you know, making it an official language would be, like, you know, extra paperwork and stuff, and no, let’s not make it happen,” he added. “But don’t worry about the tagline because at this very moment, a team of top linguists are hard at work developing a suitable tagline in French, German, or Luxembourgish, and we’re convinced that by as early as 2024, we’ll find one that’s as catchy and globally recognizable as ‘Let’s make it happen.’”
“We’ve already got a couple of good ideas, for example, ‘Luxembourg: j’adore Paris’ or ‘Luxembourg: guten Tag, ja, ja, ja,’” he added. “We still haven’t found a word or expression in Luxembourgish that’s recognizable outside of Luxembourg, or even wholly across the country itself, but we’re remaining optimistic.”