A 10-year-old who attends public school and was previously dutiful and considerate has turned into a little a-hole, refusing to acknowledge his foreign-born parents’ attempts at Luxembourgish.
The little a-hole’s mother Tatiana says she doesn’t know what happened to him, noting that he used to happily assist his parents, whether it was translating a menu in French or setting up a Netflix account.
“Last night at the dinner table, I asked him to pass the bread,” she said. “Then I said ‘von’s cleft,’ which means please.”
“Von’s cleft, von’s cleft, von’s cleft,” she added. “See, I say it well, but he acted as if I’d said nothing at all.”
The little a-hole’s father, who has completed an A1 Luxembourgish course and has plans to start A2 within the next 10 years, says his son also refuses to recognize his noble efforts.
“This morning I looked at him and sang out, ‘shiny Gouda Mayan,’” he said. “The kid didn’t even look at me.”
According to the little a-hole himself, his parents have never uttered a single word that even the most open-minded of linguists might recognize as Luxembourgish, Franconian, or any other Germanic language.
“However, I believe they are both suffering from some kind of neuro-linguistic disorder that causes them to spontaneously blurt out noises that sound like our cat coughing up a hairball,” he said.
Here are some of the parents’ other impeccably pronounced Luxembourgish phrases that the little a-hole refuses to accept:
- Marcy (thank you)
- Gary go sheet (you’re welcome)
- Whoa boss do? (where are you?)
- Bees moo where (see you tomorrow)
