• Expats
  • Grand Duchy of Luxembourg
    • Real Estate
    • Transportation
    • Luxembourg City
    • Politics and Government
    • Education
    • Luxembourgish Customs
    • Luxembourg History
    • Royal Family of Luxembourg
    • Finance and Banking
    • Business
  • Languages
    • Luxembourgish
    • French
    • German
  • Workplace
  • Leisure and Lifestyle
    • Holidays and Events
      • Schueberfouer
      • Christmas Market
      • Bazar International
    • Dining and Nightlife
    • Shopping
    • Parenting
    • Health
    • Luxembourg Wurst Magazine
    • Interviews and Profiles
    • Opinion
      • Wise Expat Sage
  • Greater Region
    • Belgium

Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Luxembourg to build giant temple to appease sun god

February 20, 2022

Luxembourg sun temple pyramidExplaining that you can only tolerate grey skies for so long before losing your mind, Luxembourg has announced the construction of a giant temple to appease the sun god. 

The 97-meter-tall edifice will be built on 4.5 hectares of land near Hesperange, and the entire structure will be covered in gold, say officials.

Schoolchildren will be invited to stand near the base and cry, while the country’s most melancholic residents will be allowed to climb to the top and beg, behavior which might attract the notice of the sun god who could then have pity.

“We don’t know if thou are a god, a goddess, a demigod, or an omnipotent sky diva who controls the clouds with theatrical finger snaps,” said project leader Laura Brocken, standing on the construction site and speaking through a megaphone into the sky on Wednesday. “But whatever we did to anger thee, we are sorry.”

“We would like to formally ask thee to bring back the sunshine,” she continued. “And we’re not talking about a day of sun followed by twenty days of rain, no, we want a proper two-week stretch of blue skies and UV rays.”

“As evidence of our desire to please thee, we are building thee a temple,” she added. “If our gesture is too antiquated and does not please thee, please let us know before we begin construction. If thou give us thy IBAN, we’ll transfer thee money instead.”

To help offset the €200-million price tag, officials are considering leasing parts of the interior to be used as office space. 

“Lots of companies would love to relocate to the Luxembourg sun temple,” said one excited  property agent. “Imagine how cool it would be if the sun god descended one afternoon to use the toilet.”

However, not everyone is open to the idea of using the temple for commercial purposes.

“The pyramid must be pure, free of sponsorship and commercial activities,” says Soraya Kastkuti, who last saw the sun in August during a trip to Tunisia. “We can’t mess this up. Please, I’m desperate.”

***

Originally published by RTL Today on February 17, 2022

Luxembourg Wurst t-shirts and hoodies on Amazon

Check out our archives of 700+ articles, enough to make your eyes bleed!

Filed Under: Featured Article

Follow the Wurst

Follow the Wurst FacebookFollow the Wurst Twitter
Luxembourg Wurst t-shirts and hoodies
Luxembourg is fun

6 fun places that prove Luxembourg isn’t boring 

Letz Luxembourg branding

Experts warn of scary new outbreak of ‘Letz’ branding

Supermarkets Luxembourg self checkout

‘Now stock the shelves,’ supermarkets tell you

Luxembourg mullet

Native mullet discovered in north of Luxembourg 

About the Luxembourg Wurst

Disclaimer

Contact Us

Luxembourg Wurst © 2023