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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Luxembourgish ultra-nationalists demand newcomers say ‘moien’ more often

Luxembourg nationalistsA group of Luxembourgish ultra-nationalists gathered in the city center on Wednesday to demand that newcomers use the standard Luxembourgish greeting “moien” more frequently.

“People move here and learn the word ‘moien’ and they use it like two, three times per week, just when they’re out shopping, really,” said organizer Marc Grosbous. “They should be using it two, three times per day. Personally, I use it all the time.”

“Say it loud and say it proud,” he added. 

“It’s a good word, superior to other greetings from this region,” said a demonstrator named Tonia. “It’s easy to pronounce, and it’s very malleable too. You can stretch it and twist it to match your mood.”

“Like this, moooien,” she added. “See? That means I’m relaxed.”

While most of the ultra-nationalists primarily want to hear the Luxembourgish greeting employed more often, others have different, more radical demands. 

“I request that anyone who moves here learn the name of the Grand Duke,” said a demonstarter named Roger. “And sure, why not the prime minister, too.”

“Oh, and it would be nice if foreigners learned to identify the Luxembourgish flag,” he added. ”I know a man who’s lived here for 20 years and he still can’t distinguish it from the Dutch and Russian flags.”

Some newcomers say they are shocked by the demonstrators’ extremist views. 

“We already have to get used to the free public transport and administration that’s disturbingly efficient,” said Sami, who moved to Luxembourg in February. “Now they’re saying we have to learn one of their useful words?”

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