A local mosquito has expressed shock and disgust after spending the night in a 34-year-old man’s bedroom and discovering that his blood was still full of alcohol – an entire week after Luxembourg’s national day.
“I get it, every year on the eve of the 23rd of June, people in this country celebrate and do a little drinking,” said the mosquito named Carola, who entered the man’s apartment around 8 p.m. last night when he stepped onto his balcony to smoke. “No big deal. I just avoid consuming human blood for a few days after that day.”
“What did this guy do, drink all the booze in the whole country?” she added. “It’s been a full seven days.”
Carola says that in an effort to not get drunk herself, she tried extracting blood from a total of 34 different sites on the man’s body, including his arms, neck, face, and in a fit of desperation, the bottom of his stinky, calloused feet, but each time she got a buzz.
“Great, I can’t even fly now,” she said. “Thanks mister. Try not to drink so much next year.”
According to sources, after leaving the Hesperange apartment through a small opening in the window around 5 a.m., Carola crashed into a tree and spent the next hour trying to suck blood from a piece of bark.