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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

New slide at Auchan for people running down steps to catch tram

May 19, 2023

Auchan slideIn response to hundreds of commuters tripping, stumbling, or comically falling and saying “whoa-hey-whoa” as they run down the steps to catch the tram at the Alphonse Weicker stop, a giant plastic slide has been installed as a safer alternative

The 82-meter slide, manufactured locally by Letz Slide using potato resin and recycled beer caps, will allow people to travel effortlessly on their butts from the main entrance all the way to the tram platform.

Although the item is a colorful addition to an otherwise gray area, not everyone is pleased, with some arguing that running down concrete steps at full speed is easy.

“Who are these clumsy people who can’t even sprint down stairs while wearing high heels and carrying a laptop and work documents in one hand, and a shopping bag with the evening’s sad dinner-for-one in the other?” said one commuter, a former European hurdle champion, professional ballet dancer, and parkour enthusiast.

However, many people who often shop in the commercial center or work nearby say they love the new slide, adding that it will make their shopping trips and evening commutes that much more fun.

“In the summertime when it rains, my friends and I will come in bathing suits, and we’ll drink beer and use it like a giant Slip ‘N Slide,” said Yaroslav, who has been calling for just such an amenity for years.

However, Tom Chute, the center’s facilities manager, says that the slide was installed to facilitate safe movement, not for fun.

“If we catch you laughing, cheering, or showing so much as a smile, you will be banned from using the slide for a period of six months,” he said. “Not only will we make you go back to using the steps, we’ll make sure you do it while they are icy, you’re carrying a newly purchased 55-inch TV, and you hear the tram going beep-beep-beep as the doors start to close.”

***

Originally published by RTL Today

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