Saying that Luxembourg must do more to limit the number of glamorous handbags and accessories that end up at the bottoms of drawers and in the backs of wardrobes, Valorlux has announced the release of a new “gold” line of recycling sacks for luxury goods.
Collected items will be taken to a processing facility to be examined by teams of fashion experts who’ll sort them into two piles while saying things like “oh my, who would want to wear this old thing?” or “hold that in your hands and tell me it doesn’t exude timeless quality.”
Handbags, watches, and scarves that are declared as worthy will be cleaned and sent to needy lower-upper-class people in border towns. Items that are deemed ugly, imitation, or commonplace will be incinerated.
Some items, such as Vuitton purses which are both worthy but commonplace, will be chopped up and made into beach sandals for rich kids in Asia.
“These bags, which are lined with real gold, will only be available in the country’s most exclusive communes,” said Victor Winandy, who is overseeing the program. “They’re only meant for residents who have the taste and money to actually know what luxury goods are the first place.”
“You can keep your Ray-Bans, Nikes, and Calvin Klein jeans,” he added. “Same goes for anything purchased in a shopping center. We only want stuff purchased in the sort of boutiques that don’t let you enter if your shoes are dirty or if you don’t exude confidence.”
The bags will be picked every Thursday morning by a limited-edition Range Rover collection truck, Winandy says.
A version of this was first published by RTL Today on July 1, 2021