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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

No more big news stories until summer, warn Luxembourg officials

February 11, 2020

Breaking news LuxembourgFollowing an unprecedented deluge of big news stories in Luxembourg, officials have announced that members of the public have been spoiled, and that they should not expect anything interesting to happen until June at the earliest. 

“It’s been a very exciting few weeks, hasn’t it?” said Isabel Weber, the Grand Duchy’s news and events coordinator. “There was all that stuff about Grand Duchess Maria Teresa, how she never says ‘please’ and runs up her mobile phone bill.”

“And then it was claimed that coronavirus was in Luxembourg, and even if that wasn’t true, it certainly was thrilling, wasn’t it?” she continued. “And who can forget last weekend’s Stormageddon, when the whole country went into code red alert mode?”

“That alone is a once-in-100-years type of event,” she added. 

Weber warns that it could take up to four months for another thing to happen.

“If we can find a way to generate something newsworthy, just to get you through these next few borning months, we certainly will,” she said. “Maybe we’ll announce that the new stadium has gone over budget again, or we’ll lower taxes on petrol by a couple of cents, but don’t get your hopes up for anything big.”

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