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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Nobody came to his birthday party, so a bunch of firemen showed up and told him to stop acting like an asshole all the time

June 25, 2021

When a seven-year-old boy in Capellen invited his classmates to his birthday party but none showed up, a group of helpful firemen stepped in to explain to the boy that he’s a little asshole and that’s why no one came.

Massimo Bucci had been looking forward to last weekend’s party for weeks, says his mother Chiara. He was so excited, she says, that he invited all 17 of his classmates and even decorated the 17 cupcakes himself. 

“The party was supposed to start at 2 p.m, and by 3, it was clear that no one was coming,” said Chiara. “Max just sat there, his sweet eyes full of tears as he looked at the empty chairs and then began to methodically destroy the decorations I’d put up.”

Within an hour, word had spread around the tightly knit community of expats in Capellen that no one had shown up for Massimo Bucci’s birthday party, and that’s when a group of local firemen decided to help out.

The five men jumped in their firetruck, turned on the lights and siren, and sped over to the park as Massimo’s eyes lit up with joy.

Captain Jeff Schroeder walked over to Massimo, put his fire helmet on the boy’s head, and said, “Max, if you weren’t such a little asshole to everyone, maybe you wouldn’t be alone today.”

Fireman René Vogel, whose daughter Emma is in Massomo’s class, put an “honorary firefighter” sticker on Massimo’s shirt and echoed what his colleague had said.

“My daughter comes home crying each day and says you pick your nose and threaten to wipe your boogers on her if she doesn’t do what you say,” Vogel said. “What did you expect today?”

“If you want people to go to your party next year, maybe you’ll learn to not act like Lucifer incarnate” said Lieutenant Bob Wolter. “Do you remember that time you intentionally broke the handle on the girls’ bathroom, and we had to come and break the door open, and the whole time you were laughing?”

“Payback’s a bitch,” he added.

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Filed Under: Education, Expats, Featured Article

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