As proof that the town is located in the far, far north, there is a “very high probability” that Wiltz is being blanketed with snow, according to a local meteorologist.
“I haven’t received quantitative data confirming my suspicions, but I would bet 750 old Luxembourgish francs that while here in the capital we deal with unbearable summer heat, Wiltz and all those remote villages up there resemble a winter wonderland,” said Fernand Decker, 89, one of Luxembourg’s most highly decorated meteorologists.
“Wiltz is so far north that most of us have never been there,” he continued. “I myself do not know exactly where it is, although in my youth I dated a girl from there, and indeed her fair complexion, freckled face, and feline features were suggestive of a snow leopard.”
“She was nimble in bed and quick to bite,” he added.
Decker says that even if the atmospheric temperature above Wiltz is not low enough to create real snow, the northern tribes will find a way to make frozen water fall from the sky, merely out of spite for “us southern peoples.”
While the Wurst could not confirm if snow has been observed falling over Wiltz, at least one source from Troisvierges, which is north of Wiltz and considered by many to be where Scandinavia begins, has confirmed that all the lakes are frozen, and that at least one poodle has been mauled by a polar bear.