Saying that one Etienne Schneider is not enough to fully capitalize on a political career, Etienne Schneider has confirmed he’s building a clone army of himself.
“Every clone will be just like the original, with the same insider knowledge of government and industry,” said a spokesperson for Kamino, the Moscow-based company that’s overseeing production. “Like Mr. Schneider, each clone will have spent years cultivating a network.”
Between 2012 and 2020, Schneider served in Luxembourg as the minister of the economy, minister of security, minister of defense, minister of health, as well as minister of laying the groundwork for a post-public-service career.
Nevertheless, after leaving the government, Schneider was only able to join the boards of a few companies, a tiny list that only includes ArcelorMittal, Sistema, BESIX group, Space Resources, and now Lux TP.
“A spit in the ocean,” explained the spokesperson, who said the approximately 500 Schneider clones will spread out across the world to sit on the boards of thousands of multinational companies, effectively taking over the world.
“Magnificent, aren’t they?” said one engineer working on the project. “We’re already working on clones designed for space, so when asteroid mining and for-profit planet colonization take off, Mr. Schneider will sit on every board across the solar system.”