Inspired by the successful bicycle- and car-sharing services Vel’OH and Carloh, a Luxembourg resident has launched Spouz-lo, the new service offering short-term rentals of partners and spouses.
“Occasionally, it’s useful having someone at home to tell you if the soup you’re making needs another pinch of cayenne pepper, or to reach the box on the top shelf, but no one really needs a spouse, at least not all the time,” said Spouz-lo founder Alice Irkt.
“The idea came to me at 3 a.m. when I was awoken by my partner’s rhino-like snoring and leg spasms, and I thought, there’s no reason why I need this guy around at night,” Irkt said. “In fact, I don’t really need him around during the day, save for the odd hour or two.”
The concept is simple. Users pay five euros to obtain a Spouz-lo card, and then they can rent a spouse at any of the 72 Spouz-lo stations around the Grand Duchy.
Spouses can be rented by the hour for a fee of €10.50, or €95 for an entire 12-hour period, Irkt says. “But no longer than that because, realistically, anyone gets super annoying if you’re stuck with them for more than twelve hours.”
Rentals of less than an hour are prorated, “for when you need a partner for a quick job,” Irkt says.
“My jumper wasn’t on right, and it was bunched up near my neck, which was making it feel itchy,” said Stefan Leever. “I rented a spouse for three minutes, just long enough for her to fix my jumper, scratch my neck, nod approvingly at a meme I’d made, and remind me that it was my father’s birthday. It only cost me a euro.”
Kirsten Laham says that she’s been in a relationship for nine years, but the only benefit she gets from it is having someone to take out the rubbish bins, deal with spiders, and half-listen while she rants about her boss.
“I’ve decided to return my partner to the very same stool at that pub in Clausen where I found him on that ill-fated January night, and I’m going to start using Spouz-lo instead,” she said. “No more, ‘hey babe, check out this funny video,’ or ‘actually, let me explain to you why the Roman Empire fell.’”
“From now on, it’s going to be, ‘rub my feet, tell me which curtains you think I should order, and oops, time’s up, back to your charging station you go.”
Irkt says that she is partnering with businesses to have smaller-sized Spouz-lo stations where they are needed most, such as in clothing shops.
“Most men don’t want to invest in a years-long relationship just for those three or four shopping outings per year,” she said. “That’s why Spouz-lo is the smart choice. Men can rent a wife for an hour or two, just long enough for her to guide him through the complicated world of sizes and colors, and then they can go home and play video games for two days straight without anyone hassling them about their smell.”
