Despite measures to dissuade commuters from driving to work including restrictions on office building parking spaces and investment in public transport, nearly all commuters who drive to work will continue doing so even if it means they have to push their cars to work, it has been revealed.
The Luxembourg Automobile Club (LAC) conducted a survey and found that nine-tenths of respondents who drive to work would continue doing so even if tolls were applied every 50 meters, the price of petrol shot up to 100 euros per liter, or if their cars no longer functioned and they had to push them to work.
“My car is my good luck charm, a talisman that protects me from evil spirits,” said human resources officer Lola Beltran, who drives a 2018 Fiat 500. “The moment I take the bus, a horde of demons will emerge from hell and commandeer my soul.”
“My therapist says I was weaned from breast milk too early and that my car now functions as my surrogate mother,” said senior lawyer Quentin Hykes who drives a 2022 Porsche Cayenne. “Mama,” he added, making a suckling noise.
“I admit that I am totally attached to my car,” said hospital nurse Damien Feria who drives a 2012 Peugeot 308. “Really. I’ve accidentally glued my hand to the steering wheel. Please send help.”
The survey also discovered that 64 percent of commuters who choose to drive would continue doing so even if it meant they had to transport a knife-wielding clown, and 38 percent would continue driving even if their car was on fire.