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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Tips for a successful, humiliating team-building event

September 30, 2021

Team-building in LuxembourgAre you starting to notice that your employees’ morale is solid? Does everyone in your workplace seem to be getting along? If so, it may be time for a team-building event. Here are some tips:

Choose the right day

It might seem like a good idea to hold the event on a Thursday when everyone is at work anyway, but you should never let a mandatory work function go to waste. Plan it for a Friday afternoon and have it run through Saturday evening. That way, you will have ruined everyone’s weekend and demonstrated, again, that you control their lives. 

Find the right activities

You want activities that sound promising so that employees take it seriously for the first hour or two but that end up being a waste of time and leave everyone dissatisfied and resentful – something like having them put together a 1500-piece puzzle when in fact you know there are nine pieces missing. You know this because you have taken them.

Push people out of their comfort zones

People have comfort zones for a reason. Years of experience and exposure to life have taught them what they like to do and what they don’t like to do. With this in mind, make them do stuff they hate under the guise of “fostering personal development” and “building new competencies.” It’s fun to watch everyone squirm. 

Involve sports

Everyone loves playing competitive sports except for the majority of people, those who get their exercise by going around their homes looking for the phone charger. Why not totally embarrass everyone by making them demonstrate their lack of physical fitness? Make the whole ordeal even more painful by recording a video of it and sharing it on the company Facebook page.

Encourage your team to think outside the box

That is, have everyone sit in a cardboard box. Now ask them to think how nice it would feel to be sitting outside the box. 

Don’t forget refreshments 

Nothing upsets a harmonious work environment more than people drinking to excess, acting poorly, and exposing their true beastly selves. No matter where or when your team-building event is, make sure to dedicate a few hours at the end to drinking. Better yet, save money and don’t serve any food. The best part: it’s just as much watching your hungover and embarrassed team members struggling to remember what they did the night before as it was to watch them do it. 

***

Originally published by RTL Today on September 23, 2021

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