LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Contrary to rumors spread by cynical residents, the guys who hang out in the parking lot near the Gare post office and try to direct you to a spot only want to help, and they have no interest in your money, credit cards, or entire purse.
“We are but a band of travellers who have come a long way, voyaged for many moons following a star resembling a glowing euro, to arrive at this very parking lot on the corner of Rue du Commerce and Avenue de la Gare” said one man, who when asked to give his name only growled.
“Hey, madame, right here, place for you, come,” he said, whistling at a middle-aged woman in a passing Volkswagen who shook her head and, appearing unnerved by the six or seven loitering men, spent 10 more minutes circling around.
Another man joined in: “My companions and I want only to render acts of charity, because we know the deep pain caused by not having a strange man with vacant eyes and dubious intentions direct you to a spot, expertly guide you in, and stand guard against evil-doers who might slash the tires and shatter the windows of your oh-so-pretty new car,” he said.
“As knights in the Order of St. Otto, patron saint of parking lots, we took a solemn oath, and we would never think of accepting your money,” he continued. “Unless you want to donate 10 or 20 euros, which we will naturally pass on to another charitable order whose members you can also find in Luxembourg City, the Sisters Who Ask You to Sign a Fake Petition to Help the Deaf while They Pick Your Pockets.”