You passed the Sproochentest, just barely, and now you’ve got the nationality. Cool! From here on, you’re on easy street and can forget all you learned, right? Wrong. What if someone speaks to you, now a bona fide Luxembourger, in Luxembourgish?
Take your time
There’s no need to panic. Take a deep breath, try to make sense of what the person said, and then take another deep breath. Say nothing. Inhale and exhale 60 more times. Eventually the person will get bored and leave.
Ananas
This is a trick as old as time. Let’s imagine the person says “geet et?” to you, which according to one of our sources deep within the world of Luxembourgish means, “yo yo yo, mate, how ya been and what are you up to?” That’s when you look over their shoulder, point, and shout “ananas!” Why that word? Don’t worry about it. Trust us. It works.
Mmmgghgh
This one involves a little bit of acting and improv skills. Imagine the person comes up to you at work and says “du bass blah-blah-blah” and you have no clue what blah-blah-blah means. Now, here’s the trick. Say “mmmgghgh” as if your mouth is full. At the same time, imagine you’ve got some food in your hand. It could be a juicy plum or a sticky chocolate éclair. Raise it to your mouth. Pretend to take a huge bite, cough, hold your hand up, and run away.
Clarify
Let out a little laugh as if to show real confusion and mild social discomfort, and then say “huh?” The person will likely repeat his or her words. Open your eyes wide and say, “oh, you’re trying to speak to me in Luxembourgish. The funny thing is, I learned Luxembourgian, not Luxembourgish. Easy mistake to make.” For added effect, pull out your phone and show them that dozens of English reference websites claim that Luxembourgian is the language spoken here. It’s true.
Take a chance
If you are really stuck and there’s no way out – perhaps four of your Luxembourgish colleagues surround you while you’re having lunch in the break room, and they’re all broad-shouldered and smell a bit off so you don’t want to push through them – you might just need to take a risk. What are languages but words, and what are words but sounds, and do not all sounds resemble each other in some way? Play with sounds. Experiment. If you’re lucky, the sounds you create will make sense and not be taken as an insult. Rejoice in your newfound linguistic freedom. Smile. Sing in your new language. Write a national anthem. Sing that too. Nominate yourself as poet laureate in your brand-new very own Luxembourgish. No one can stop you if they don’t understand you.
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Originally published by RTL Today
