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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Woman dreams of being able to shit at work

September 17, 2020

Woman dreams of being able to shit at workA woman who describes her work life as “pleasant and fulfilling” says that she does have one major complaint, which is that she is unable to take care of all her business in the office toilet. 

“I would love to be able to shit at work,” said lawyer Milena Sargsyan, 29, who has been employed by the small Luxembourg City firm for six years. “I mean, I’m there for ten to 12 hours every day, and I can’t imagine it’s good for my body to hold it in all day long.” 

“Not that I don’t enjoy the ambiance in the office, which is casual and open,” she continued. “But not so much that I could stink up one of the two shared toilets and not die of embarrassment.”

“Which is rather unfair, because my male colleagues seem to have no shame in taking monster shits at work,” she added. “And some of them actually appear to derive a sick pleasure from making the toilet unusable for 30 minutes.”

Sargsyan’s boyfriend Benjamin says he would also like her to have the freedom to do a number two at work. 

“When I hear the building door open around 7:30 p.m. and Milena comes running up the stairs, I know I’d better get out of the way,” he said. “She’ll literally crush to death anyone who stops her from going to the bathroom.”

“Incidentally, I’ve started wearing noise-cancelling headphones in the evening to save us both from social discomfort.”

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