KOFFISPILLEN — A man who has lived in Luxembourg for nearly a decade says he’s dumbfounded after being told that Luxembourg’s reigning monarch doesn’t actually rule the country.
Anthony Ludarki, 35, who was transferred to Luxembourg in early 2009, says he always understood that Grand Duke Henri enjoyed the broad and nearly absolute power for which monarchs are renowned.
“There’s a public holiday to celebrate his birthday,” Ludarki said. “Not even Russian presidents get that.”
“And whenever he feels like popping over to Cactus to buy some canned beans and a bottle of beer,” he continued, “he just calls up the police and says yeah, send over a dozen cops on motorcycles to clear the traffic for me.”
“His photo is up all over the place, and we know why,” he added. “It’s because all the shopkeepers are afraid of getting their arms lopped off by His Royal Highness’s elite guard.”
Recently, someone told Ludarki that a bunch of lawyers chosen by locals are running the show, and that the monarchy is just there for fun, he says.
“You want me to believe that the guy who gets to live in his own castle isn’t calling the shots?” he said. “The same guy who gets to travel everywhere for free?”
However, Ludarki admits that Grand Duke Henri probably does engage the services of plenty of royal advisors, assistants, and administrators to make sure buses are on time, sidewalks are clean, and that classrooms are heated.
“Best as I can tell, there are six or seven main advisors, and one who bosses them all around,” he said. “The scarf guy, you know the one.”