Following days of complaints from kids that this year’s Schueberfouer is identical to last year’s, the nearly 700-year-old fair responded by producing a mutant ride, the likes of which had never been seen in Luxembourg or anywhere in the world.
The improbable event took place on Tuesday afternoon as groups of workers from nearby offices looked on in horror and as families either fled or stood petrified where they were, some with sausages or waffles hanging from their mouths.
“Does the funfair bore you, little young people?” the creature howled as it assembled itself from pieces of other rides. “You want something new?”
Within minutes, the mutant ride stood nearly 70 meters tall and wielded its giant steel appendages like the arms of a windmill from a steampunk nightmare.
“Come on now, don’t be afraid,” it hissed as it plucked a ticket booth and worker from the nearby Ferris wheel, which by then it was towering over. “Seven euros, same price as the roller coaster or tower.”
The terrified worker shakily collected payment and ride vouchers as a few intrepid children lined up and boarded the ride, their worried mothers rushing to make sure they were strapped in.
However, due to the mutant ride’s ignorance of engineering principles and basics of ride design, nothing happened, and all the passengers remained where they were.
This went on for several more hours until word got around that the new ride was a waste of money. By then, teams of workers had arrived to disassemble the mutant ride and put back the pieces where they belonged.
This was the second time in recent memory that the Schueberfouer responded to a complaint with an angry, supernatural feat. The last time was in 2004 when a man named Mario complained that the beers were too small. He was subsequently plucked up by an invisible force and tossed into a 500-liter tub of lager.
***
Originally published by RTL Today
