Saying that whatever medical experts are advising for coronavirus safety is surely a criminal underestimation, the London-based Association of Paranoiacs is urging its members to stay at least three kilometers from other people.
“Yes, there’s only a .0001-percent chance that if an infected person sneezes while using a hairdryer with the window open, the virus particles will be blown into the lower atmosphere and land on a surface a kilometer or two away,” said association president Vera Whireed. “But that’s a chance we just can’t take.”
“My doctor says I can’t get the virus by looking through binoculars at my neighbor at the other end of the street who might be ill,” Whireed continued. “But have they done any tests?”
“And if so, who sponsored those tests?” she added.
In addition to encouraging members to remain at least three kilometers from others, the association is also advising people to adopt other common-sense habits such as washing their hands after washing their hands and basic social distancing like moving to a remote cabin in northern Finland accessible only by a 12-hour hike.