Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Commuters infuriated by woman in bright colors

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Commuters heading into the capital city on Monday were filled with rage after seeing a woman dressed in bright colors, according to several choleric witnesses. At least six train passengers glared at the woman and wished “serious bodily harm” upon her. A further 10 passengers crossed their fingers in hopes that someone would […]

North Korea bars visitors from own stand at Bazar International

For the 27th year in a row, delegates from the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea are not allowing visitors to enter or exit their stand at this weekend’s Bazar International in Luxembourg. “We thank the capitalist exploiters of Luxembourg for again inviting the glorious DPRK to participate in this celebration-feast to honor the Western vices […]

Archeologists: current Luxembourg roadworks actually started 6000 years ago

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Archaeologists working in the capital have uncovered artefacts that suggest many of the city’s most aggravating road construction projects currently underway have been going on since the end of the Neolithic Era. Among the artefacts found in a dig near the Bierger-Center — just one of a dozen sites currently being excavated — […]

‘I love the diversity of Luxembourg,’ says expat who only socializes with own socio-ethno-linguistic group

A woman who only socializes with people who strongly resemble her in looks, language, and income has announced that she loves the diversity of Luxembourg. “There are so many nationalities represented here, it’s a veritable cornucopia of cultures,” she said. “And you can really enjoy them from a safe distance, like, through the tinted windows […]

Scary new drug craze: Luxembourg mothers addicted to Cactus candles   

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — By day her name was Marie-Antoinette Hoffmann, a part-time language teacher and dedicated mother of three. But by night, she was known as “Mam Bougie” and police say she ran a candle-dealing operation that stretched from Clervaux all the way to Differdange.   For readers who are unaware of the dangerous new trend, […]