Authorities in the Grand Duchy are investigating several cases of slavery after dozens of residents reported that gas station cashiers appear to be forced to offer promotional chocolate items to every customer. “One week it’s two-for-one Kinder Bueno, and the next it’s 30 percent off a pack of king-sized Twix bars, but the routine never […]
Yes, we do hate you, confirm Luxembourg waiters
A majority of the capital city’s waitstaff do indeed hate you, according to a recent survey conducted by the agency that provides answers to residents’ nagging questions. While 13 percent of employees in the restaurant sector say they “don’t mind” you and six percent agree that you’re annoying but “better than a visit to Contrôle […]
Grand Duke finally gets own bus
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Saying it’s a “royal shame” that Luxembourg’s reigning monarch still gets around his dominion by using crowded public transport full of commuters, on Friday transportation officials finally granted Grand Duke Henri his own personal bus. The Ducal City Rider 3500 is the latest addition to the VDL fleet of more than 600 […]
Friendly Luxembourg sales assistant obviously new at this
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — An employee at a shop in the center is obviously new to this job, as evidenced by her friendliness and eagerness, according to observers. Customers were shocked last week when they stepped into the gift boutique near the Grand Rue and were warmly greeted with offers to help them locate items. Stay-at-home mother […]
Disgusting: Luxembourg child forced to celebrate birthday at home
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A primary school pupil is recovering from serious emotional injuries after his parents attempted to host the child’s birthday party at their sad little home in Neudorf. Alerted on Saturday by a concerned neighbor, police were able to rescue the nine-year-old before the arrival of his classmates, which could have led to “catastrophic damage” […]