Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Gare drug dealers switch to selling bottled water

Explaining that the decision makes good business sense, a consortium representing Gare-district drug dealers has announced that its 79 members are going to switch to dealing bottled water. “There’s more demand, and the customer base is huge,” explained Gare Dealers United president Stan Don-Korner. “Market reports tell us that 93 percent of neighborhood residents need […]

Understandable: newly born Prince François wasn’t in the mood for photos, so the Court shared a stock photo of a random baby instead

In what is being called a very understandable decision, the Grand Ducal Court has chosen to release a stock photo of an unknown baby instead of an authentic one of Prince François because the newborn wasn’t really in the mood. “Hark, Prince François has been born, and the angels do sing,” said a press release. […]

New ‘third-option’ flush for expats who take larger shits

As proof Luxembourg wants everyone to feel welcomed, a local design company has unveiled a toilet with a more powerful third-option flush designed for expats whose shits are more massive than those of locals.  “We aim to make Luxembourg a place where all people feel recognized, regardless of their background, lifestyle, or the size of […]

Astronaut finds Garage Frank card on spacecraft window

A pilot who docked his space vehicle with the International Space Station (ISS) for a few hours has returned to find a business card on the window bearing the name of Luxembourg used-car buyer Garage Frank.  SpaceX astronaut Daniel Yu and his crew had just completed a scheduled resupply mission on Wednesday and were putting […]