Fear and confusion broke out across Luxembourg on Wednesday morning after someone sneezed, according to multiple reports. The violent expulsion was first felt by Jonathan Freeland, who was relaxing at a coffee shop on Avenue de la Liberté in the capital. A preliminary investigation failed to determine which of the 15 or so people in […]
Scientists create microscopic dog for Luxembourg grandmothers
Saying that one of the country’s biggest problems has been solved, a team of scientists from Luxembourg have created the Nanohuahua, a microscopic dog that is finally small enough to please local grandmothers. “For too long, local grannies have been stuck getting dogs that are too big,” said Dr. Henrick Zolantin, who oversaw the University […]
Government to fix housing crisis by asking people who already own property to shut up about it
Admitting that it’s impossible to make housing in Luxembourg more affordable, officials are instead asking everyone who already owns a home to shut up about it. “The housing market is out of our control,” said Ministry of Housing and Social Blights spokesperson Felix Oberpries. “It’s too strong. It’s like those bodybuilders who used to play […]
The face maskini is here
As Europeans flock to crowded beaches despite an ongoing pandemic, many women are wondering how they can stay safe without looking like a dentist about to perform a root canal. The answer, says Dudelange-based fashion designer Antoine Fabret, is to get rid of those shapeless one-piece face masks that your great-grandma wore during the time […]
Hilarious: Kirchberg barber demands 45 euros for 8-minute cut
What started as a normal business day on Thursday ended in a hilarious prank bordering on brilliant performance art when a Kichberg barber asked a customer to pay 45 euros for an eight-minute haircut. Customer Ritik Kumar, who moved to Luxembourg in June to work at Amazon, says he was closely watching how long his […]
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