Transportation officials have announced they will extend the tram line to an apartment in Strassen because the guy who lives there is always late. “This guy is never on time for anything, and frankly, we’re fed up,” said Ministry of Mobility and Public Works spokesperson Aristotle Kirkandian. “We don’t see any other solution.” Between the […]
Luxembourg just happy to make international news
Luxembourg has announced that although the circumstances aren’t ideal, it is pleased to have made the international news in recent days following allegations that a local award-winning painter plagiarized the work of a well-known photographer. “Accusations of artistic theft are never fun,” Luxembourg said in response to the international outcry. “Maybe our boy went too […]
New dog owners to get parental leave
After years of referring to their canines as their children, new dog owners in Luxembourg will finally be entitled to six months of full-time parental leave. The move is being lauded considering the effort it takes to train a dog, forge a bond, and teach it to do tricks like walking on its hind legs […]
A bit of friendly teasing is okay, but don’t cross the line, says Luxembourg
Luxembourg has warned you that a little bit of friendly teasing is fine, but you should not take it too far. “We’re very open to jokes about the weather, the salaries of bus drivers, and the way people from the north speak,” said Luxembourg. “Also, if you’d like to make fun of the snobs who […]
Luxembourg on lockdown after man threatens to make kachkéis-flavored beer
All of Luxembourg has been put on lockdown following a “credible threat” to make kachkéis-flavored beer, say police. The threat was made by Lintgen homebrewer Jethro Hopps, aged 34, who on Sunday discussed his plans for the next batch of beer. “I was thinking about doing something different next time,” Hopps said to his friends […]
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