The government of Luxembourg has announced a plan to drastically reduce housing prices by spreading a rumor that the entire country has cooties. Cooties is a highly infectious and possibly imaginary disease that little boys often accuse little girls of having, claims to which girls then say, “No, you have cooties.” Officials say state employees […]
New €2.50 surcharge for blowing up cash machines
The agency that regulates Luxembourg’s banking sector has authorized a new surcharge to discourage people from igniting explosives inside the country’s thousands of cash machines. Starting next week, banks will be permitted to charge anyone who blows up a cash machine €2.50, in addition to other fees they might incur during the forcible removal of […]
I came to Luxembourg for the salary, but I’m staying for the awkward dancing
I’m not going to lie. I moved here for the salary, simple as that. I told myself I’d stay for a year or two and move back home with my newly earned savings. Then I realized that Luxembourg is a nice country, and I decided to stay for a little bit longer. Well, it’s been […]
Past Duck Race winners: where are they now?
Now that Duck Race season is here, you might be wondering what became of the previous years’ winners. Here are some of their stories. Ducky McDuckface (2002) The Duckster. Duckarooni. Ducky McDuckface had many nicknames, not all of them nice. Despite a performance which observers called “unimaginative” and compared to “a piece of plastic being […]
Ah, bless them: freelancers believe they should also benefit from indexation
Luxembourg’s most adorable pseudo members of the workforce have demonstrated yet again how preciously naive they are in real-life matters. Pretending to have permanent work contracts like adults, hundreds of baby-faced freelancers have said in very grown-up voices that they, too, deserve a little raise and that they should apply the 2.5 indexation to their […]
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