LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Not happy keeping all his delicious tobacco smoke to himself, a big-hearted Luxembourg smoker is letting everyone at his usual bus stop have a nice, deep, involuntary puff off his cigarette. “Nothing beats a whiff of rich carcinogenic fumes first thing in the morning,” said Diana Workhorse, a non-smoker who essentially becomes a […]
‘Traffic unusually bad today,’ says Luxembourg resident unaware it will be like this forever
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A resident of the capital was shocked on Monday morning after spending nearly an hour driving only 3.2 kilometers to get to work, oblivious that such congestion is now normal. “I wonder if there was an accident?” he said to himself at the same moment thousands of other flummoxed drivers were asking the […]
Couple who moved to Luxembourg 3 years ago unhappy about newcomers
An expat couple who relocated to the Grand Duchy three years ago have become increasingly territorial and have determined that too many people are being allowed to move here. “It’s just outrageous how they keep letting more and more people in, making life more difficult for those of us who have grown tiny roots here,” […]
Opinion: If I let you merge in front of me, next thing you’ll be trying to sleep with my wife
Oh sure, I see you in your little Twingo, your left indicator light blinking, showing that you’d like to merge in front of me. Nope, not today, man. If I let you merge in front of me, the next thing is you’ll be trying to sleep with my wife. Let me tell you something: […]
Officials: all of Luxembourg to be closed until this shit ends
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Citing hundreds of construction projects, roadworks on nearly every street, plus the highly disruptive building of the tram line through the city center, VDL officials have announced that they are just going to close off the whole place until this shit ends. “We don’t know when this shit will end, but when it […]
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