As part of its effort to review the policy of allowing pets, Luxtram has dispatched a team of animal psychologists to ride the tram and compare the behavior of dogs to their civilized human counterparts.
Madisson Nestor, known as MadNes in animal psychology circles, says she was shocked by what she observed.
“Being loud and stinky, obstructing the doors, and slobbering on the ground,” she said.
“Eating like pigs, licking other passengers with and without consent, and peeing in the corner, ” she continued.
“Oh, those were the human passengers,” she added. “The dogs were mostly well-behaved.”
Ines Sanita, referred to as Nita in the world of underground animal psychology academic publishing, remarked: “I observed five dogs and five teenagers use the tram throughout the course of a Friday evening.”
“The dogs sat quietly, never made eye contact with strangers in accordance with the social rule, and one dog even apologized in dogese when its tail wagging disturbed another commuter.”
“The teenagers, on the other hand, spent most of the ride sniffing each other, barking at strangers, and scratching their nether regions.”
Luxtram officials say they are going to consider revising their seating strategy and allow dogs and other well-behaved pets to sit in seats while requiring some people to be leashed, wear muzzles, and squat on the ground.
“If they prove they can be good boys and girls, the driver will pat them on the head and give them a sweet treat in the shape of a tram,” says one official.
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Submitted by Wurst correspondent T.S.
