Unable to work out since their gym was ordered to close last week, a fitness-loving couple from Capellen have turned into blobs of untoned flesh.
The two were discovered by their cleaning lady on Wednesday afternoon. At first, the woman mistook them for melted ice cream, but when she attempted to clean up the mess, one of the blobs whispered an apology for having left dirty dishes in the sink.
Afraid that the two blobs, which she now understood were her employers, would continue to melt, the cleaning lady collected each one in a separate bucket and ran to a neighbor for help.
The neighbor, a 76-year-old retired plumber, kneeled near the two gelatinous forms to inquire what had happened.
“Give me a spinning bike,” the woman blob said with barely enough muscular control of her now jelly-like tongue to form the words. “Or a thigh machine. Hurry.”
“Please, I just need a squat rack and a bench,” said the man blob. “And a barbell, and a couple of 20-kilo plates.”
Aware they could not find the gym equipment in time, the neighbor and cleaning lady took drastic measures that experts say prevented the couple from transforming into liquid and evaporating.
The cleaning lady used her phone to play the Imagine Dragons song “Believer,” and she flicked the lights on and off to create the strobe-light effect of a spinning class. Meanwhile, the neighbor rushed to his apartment and came back wearing lycra shorts and a t-shirt emblazoned with the message “Too fit to quit.”
According to sources, the elderly neighbor then led an impromptu abs and butt class, which he describes as a miracle because he hasn’t stepped into a fitness center since 1989.
After several minutes of sweaty undulations, the two blobs slowly took on the form of humans, and after 30 minutes they were back in great shape – and not afraid to show it.
“I kept telling people that if they closed all the gyms, I would turn into a gooey mass of pure fat, and it happened,” the man said.
Originally published by RTL Today on December 3, 2020
Like our stuff? Hire the Wurst for content writing, copywriting, branding and more! For more information, check out Luxembourg Writer.