An expat has gained at least 10 kilos after his charitable Luxembourgish neighbors have spent more than a month feeding him sweets, leftovers, and booze.
“Mr. and Mrs. Kléck-Steimmer have been very kind this holiday season,” explained Marius Rosco, who moved into his Walferdange neighborhood earlier this year. “To be fair, at first they weren’t welcoming, and I felt that they looked at me rather strangely, as if they were appraising me.”
“But when the Christmas season rolled around and I mentioned that I would stay in Luxembourg and be alone, they warmed up and started showing a lot of interest in me.”
Rosco says that the couple brought him traditional plum pies, Boxemännercher, and other treats.
“Mrs. Kléck-Steimmer in particular seemed worried that I wasn’t getting enough to eat, probably just because I’m young and from somewhere else, and she felt that she could be a grandmother figure for me,” he said.
Every day, the couple began dropping off large tubs of greasy leftovers and pieces of thick, heavily buttered bread. They wouldn’t leave his doorstep until he had consumed every last bite of food.
“I joked to Mrs. Kléck-Steimmer that she was fattening me up so she could eat me,” he said. “Her face got white. I suppose she was shocked by my morbid sense of humor.”
Rosco says that despite his off-color remark, the Kléck-Steimmers continued to show great generosity and supply him with ever more food and eventually beer, wine, and locally produced alcohol that they would encourage him to chug while they watched.
At one point, when they arrived with a brick of what appeared to be lard, Rosco says he declined to eat it, explaining that he had gained a lot of weight, especially around his belly, and that he felt like his liver might explode.
According to him, Mr. Kléck-Steimmer’s response was: “Excellent. At least it’s nearly all over. The holidays, I mean. Ha ha.”
Rosco says that a few days before the twenty-fifth, the couple left him a beautifully scripted invitation to join them for Christmas. He promptly accepted the offer.
“It said they and their whole family wanted to have me for dinner,” he said. “They asked me to be freshly showered and not use deodorants or any other chemical products that might alter my taste.”
“I think they meant ‘smell.’ They probably have a person in their family who’s very sensitive to odors. I have an aunt like that.”
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Originally published by RTL Today
