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Knock A Shining Dog

Facebook to allow you to automate all ‘happy birthday’ messages from now till end of time so you can finally rest or die

Facebook automate birthdayAware that the average user spends up to nine minutes every day posting “happy birthday” messages on friends’ timelines, Facebook has announced that it will allow users to automate this task. 

“By clicking on the new ‘automate birthday wishes’ button, users may opt for automatic birthday wishes for all friends from now until the platform ceases to exist or until the user passes away and the account is locked,” said Facebook project leader Tim Saaver. 

A spokesperson for parent company Meta says the tech giant is also working on a feature for Facebook, Messenger, WhatsApp, and Instagram that uses AI to totally automate and take over users’ entire digital lives and online social interactions.   

“All your messages, posts, responses, tags, likes, and everything else will be handled by Meta AI,” said Hal Bautte. “No need to even capture, create, and edit your own content such as photos and videos. The AI will take over all those time-consuming tasks and generate the best ones possible. Your digital life will be self-sufficient. You will at long last be able to just sit in a chair and … be.”

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