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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

LinkedIn contact also like that in real life

February 9, 2022

LinkedIN PersonaA person who on LinkedIn is brimming with gratitude, optimism, and celebration of every professional accomplishment no matter how small is also like that in real life, sources have confirmed. 

Coralie Glower’s posts are best summarized as “hooray for me, hooray for you, we’re all wonderful,” says Marcus Bendt, who has been connected to Glower on the professional networking site for years yet had not met her until recently.

“Obviously, that sort of unwavering cheerfulness is normal for LinkedIn,” he said. “But no one is like that in real life, right? Or so I thought.”

However, the awful truth was revealed on Friday evening when Bendt met Glower in person at a dinner hosted by a mutual acquaintance. Revelations of Glower’s real-life persona began leaking out the day before the dinner. 

“Tomorrow I begin a new journey by having dinner with @KatarinaObleski, her husband, and four other amazing, inspired people who come from Kathy’s social circle. Looking forward to this fantastic dining and socializing event,” she posted on LinkedIn.

Along with others who had never met Glower, Bendt found himself shocked and even frightened when before the meal she stood and proposed a toast.  

“I’m humbled and honored that you have chosen me to be among the people you have invited to eat with you in your home, hashtag ‘opportunity knocking,’” Glower said, her expression as joyful yet oddly serene as it is in her LinkedIn photo. “I’m looking forward to creating new social synergies and contributing to what I’m sure will be a dynamic, friendship-building meal.”

“The baked-brie appetizers were amazing, and I’d love to get the recipe because every moment offers us a hashtag ‘learning opportunity,'” she added.

Despite his dislike of phoniness and the thought that Glower might actually be a next-generation robot, Bendt says that her enthusiasm is infectious and that he now wonders if the reason he cannot break through to middle-management is because he is too authentic and honest.

“I had an intriguing interaction with the fascinating @CoralieGlower on Friday, and it made me wonder about the transformative power of acting like an AI bot that smiles and spits out inspirational slogans all day,” he later posted on LinkedIn. “Willing to give it a try.”

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