The government-approved plan to extend paternity leave from two to ten days will allow Luxembourg fathers to continue spending quality time with their video game consoles, says the Minister of Electronic Arts and Leisure who pushed for the measure.
“While a lot of attention is given to new mothers and how they need time and rest to regenerate breast milk or whatever after popping out babies, new fathers are often neglected,” said Marc Schneider, himself an avid gamer. “Some of their video games end up being totally ignored for weeks or months after a birth.”
Schneider says that he was spurred into action by the case of a father from Esch-sur-Alzette who, since his wife gave birth to triplets in 2015, still has not been allowed to even turn on his Xbox One.
“He’s been holding on to a really cool game, ‘Fallout 4,’ for two years,” he said. “Yet he hasn’t been able to even remove the plastic film from the box.”
Critics of the government’s plan are numerous and vocal. Most argue that 10 days is not nearly enough for a new father to form a bond with any game, especially open world RPGs, such as Nintendo’s 2017 ‘Zelda’ installation, that requires hundreds of hours.
“Becoming a father, whether for the first, second, or tenth time, is no easy feat,” said one furious observer. “After a child is born, fathers need at least 25 days off to really get used to the fantastic, immersive world of the latest ‘Final Fantasy,’ for example.”
“In 10 days, a father barely gets used to the controls,” he added.
Minister Schneider admits that while the new plan is not as generous as some would hope, it is a step in the right direction and signals a shift in the government’s stance on protecting a man’s sacred role as gamer.
“When my own son was born in 1997, the standard paternity leave was sufficient,” he said. “Ah, I remember his birth like it was yesterday.”
“I had just purchased [iconic first-person shooter game] ‘Goldeneye,’ and I was able to beat it in well under two days, well, 28 hours and 16 minutes, to be precise, which was a record between me and my father-friends,” he continued. “But times have changed. Games are more complex, and fathers today need and deserve more time to play them.”