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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Luxembourg store employee returns to full-time not giving a shit

June 29, 2020

BERTRANGE — A store employee who has spent the last month being apathetic part-time has returned to full-time not giving a shit. 

“It took a few weeks to get back into the routine and remember how to show minimal interest in the petty concerns of those who enter these premises,” said Damien Sellier, who had two months off from work due to the pandemic. 

“And I’ve had enough,” he said. “All day long they come in and want to know where the ink cartridges are, or the difference between LED and 4K.” 

“How should I know?” he continued. “I work in kitchen appliances.”

“Go talk to my colleague,” he added, make a vague gesture toward the other side of the store. “Over there. The invisible one I’m pointing to just so you’ll leave me alone.”

Sellier says that one thing he does care about are his twice-hourly cigarette breaks, but those are also becoming a nuisance. 

“Even when I’m outside, surrounded by a cocoon of smoke that clearly indicates I’m off-duty, people don’t leave me alone,” he said. “They’re always asking what time the shopping center closes, or if I can please smoke more than one meter from the entrance because the 98-year-old great-grandfather they’re accompanying has emphysema and is turning purple.”

“I’m not a geographer,” he added. “I don’t know on which floor you can find a shoe shop. Find someone else to be your personal Google. I don’t know which refrigerator brand is best.”

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