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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Luxembourg woman caught buying 350 ml of hair conditioner

December 28, 2020

Non-essential Luxembourg

A Luxembourg resident was caught red-handed on Monday after she bought 350 milliliters of hair conditioner from a supermarket in Bertrange.

Police spokesperson Marco Trausch says the culprit sneaked into an aisle that is blocked off due to the government’s ban on the sale of non-essential goods, which includes everything from shampoo to underwear and printer ink. 

After putting the hair conditioner in her shopping basket, the woman managed to pay for it at a self-checkout machine while staff looked away. 

She would have got away with the crime, Trausch says, if she had not tried to re-enter moments later with her shopping bag because she had forgotten to buy vodka and pickled herring, which are both considered essential items.

Security staff asked to examine the woman’s sack before she entered, and that’s when they discovered the illicit purchases and contacted the police. 

According to witnesses, the suspect became angry and insisted that conditioner is essential, because in the winter her hair gets very dry and she develops split ends.

“No one is above the law,” Trausch said. “Anyway, if you’re desperate, try using mayonnaise, which my mother used to say makes your hair shiny and strong.”

“You could probably also use mayonnaise as toothpaste and laundry soap,” he added. “But don’t take my word for it.”

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