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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Merl resident ordered to sit down after non-consensual leg-humping

November 27, 2017

Non-consensual leg-humping dogMERL — A well-known resident of this quiet neighborhood has been ordered to “sit down and stay” after reports that he humped the leg of a total stranger.

This is the first time that Ajax, a five-year-old labrador mix who has lived in Merl since birth, has been accused of being a bad dog.

“I have a really hard time believing it,” said one neighbor who often sees Ajax walking in the park. “He always seemed like such a good little boy.”

The accuser, a 32-year-old marketing officer who was jogging at the time of the alleged incident, said she held out her hand and that’s when Ajax took things too far.

“I was just trying to introduce myself,” she said. “I’m new to the area, so I figured he’d want to get familiar with my scent, and that’s when he mounted my leg and began viciously thrusting.”

The accuser says that she has “no doubt” that Ajax has done this sort of thing before.

“The dog wasn’t ashamed at all, humping my leg on the sidewalk where everyone could see,” she said. “You could just tell he is used to getting away with it.”

The owner immediately pulled back the leashed dog and scolded him, later insisting that Ajax only ever humped the legs of family members and close friends.

The Wurst tried to interview Ajax to get his side of the story, but so far his only response has been to wag his tail and pant.

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